23 lessons from 2023
23 Life-Changing Lessons from 2023: Unlocking Gratitude, Embracing Challenge, and Redefining Success
I hope everyone enjoyed ringing in the New Year with your loved ones. Some of you might have kicked off the year with new resolutions, only to find them fading away after just a few days 🤪 . Others may have begun with a sense of regret for what remained unaccomplished in the past year. However, I chose to start the New Year by sharing the valuable lessons I learned in 2023. The past year was a profound teacher, imparting numerous lessons. Here are a few that I am eager to carry forward into 2024
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A reason to believe in god even when u don’t have all the evidence to believe in god is GRATITUDE. In 2023, i encountered a wide variety of people. I also had a privilege to meet a group of people who are always with smiling face, always spread the positive vibe. This instilled the curiosity in me to analyse their behavior pattern to understand the causative mechanisms for their positive attitude towards life. Everything came down to single most important thing in life which is GRATITUDE. People often thank god only when they get what they want but I noticed in this group of people that they genuinely thank god for protecting them even when they met with car accident, they genuinely thank god for giving them the strength to endure the pain even when they fell in sick. It is well researched and proven concept in philosophy that practicing gratitude makes u feel better. However, it is hard to practice. Now it’s clear that believing in god, and thanking god is one of the best way to practice GRATITUDE. If u r a person who spreads positive vibe in your group please continue to do so in 2024 as well. If u want to start the new year with new resolutions, I would highly recommend gratitude on the top of the list.
Never ignore second and third-order consequences. For example, when many people think of going to the gym, the first things that come to mind are pain, less time for entertainment, sacrificing favorite foods, and eating foods they don't like. These are the first-order consequences. Consequently, many don't enjoy going to the gym. On the other hand, if one understands and gives equal importance to third-order consequences, such as becoming healthier, fitter, faster, and, most importantly, stress-free, then many will likely love going to the gym. Having said that, what would you do when there is a conflict between your short-term goal (eating the cookies in front of you) and your long-term goal (becoming fitter)? That leads to our next lesson
When there is a conflict between two of your desires, split yourself into two personalities. Let both personalities genuinely argue with each other, debate, negotiate, and lay out all the options for a win-win solution. Create a third personality to judge the debate's conclusion, ensuring that the third personality is not biased toward either of the two desires.
Here is a sample dialogue:
Personality 1: "These cookies look delicious; I want to eat them."
Personality 2: "This contains a lot of sugar, and you promised yourself to become fitter in 2024. If you don't stand by your own word to yourself, you can't trust yourself in the future. Being trustworthy isn't just about fulfilling promises to others, but also to yourself."
Personality 1: "I don't want to sacrifice my happiness today for an uncertain future. What if I die tomorrow? Do you want me to die with regret of not eating my favorite cookies?"
Personality 2: "Let's be practical. Considering your age and the average life expectancy in the nations you live in, the probability of you dying tomorrow is insignificant. There are two solutions I can see for both of us to be happy. You can do an extra 20 minutes of cardio to earn the privilege of eating one cookie today and satisfy your craving. Or you can wait for a few months to achieve certain targets, then enjoy cookies for a day before pursuing the new target." Now, the third personality, the judge, can choose any option depending on the complexity of both desires.
Negotiation is not a zero-sum game. When two people negotiate for something, it doesn't mean that one person has to lose something for the other person to gain something. If negotiated well, both can gain better value from the negotiation.
The gym is not just for physical fitness. Bored? Go to the gym. Depressed? Go to the gym. Sad? Go to the gym. Angry? Go to the gym. Stressed? Go to the gym. Anxious? Go to the gym. Tired? Go to the gym. Confused? Go to the gym. At the end of every emotional road, the gym awaits, not just as a solution, but as the pinnacle of self-restoration and resilience.💪🏻
You can have a pain-free, happy life by being content with what you have, often a mediocre life. Alternatively, you can accept the challenges, go through the pain, and give birth to a stronger version of yourself. If you want to be 'STRONG AND HAPPY,' learn to 'EMBRACE THE PAIN.
If I continue my life like this, I'm confident that I would become a millionaire in a few years, but is it really worth it? Lesson: Don't sacrifice all your 20s trying to become a millionaire, only to spend your 40s looking for all the possible ways to spend money to feel like your youth again, and then later realize, possibly with regret, that no amount of money can bring back your youth. Have a lot of fun on the go.
Having nothing to lose makes you stronger, more powerful, and fearless compared to having everything in the world. Thus, having nothing can also be a mental asset. Stop complaining and go get whatever you want in your life.
True luxury and freedom are not defined by having a million dollars in the bank, but having the ability to be brutally honest and the affordability to face the consequences. For instance, if u rely on a single income and ur family is depended on u, then even if u don’t agree with certain things from your employer, u will not have the affordability to speak out, just like many nurses couldn’t speak up for themselves when they had varying opinions about Covid vaccinations and mask compliance.
The easier it is to offend you, the easier it is to control and manipulate you. An offended mind tends to narrow its focus, making it difficult to see the broader picture of a situation. For example, if you find yourself getting offended by derogatory statements such as 'Indians are idiots,' 'Americans are selfish,' 'Hindus are superstitious,' 'Muslims are violent,' or 'Christians are cunning,' anyone can exploit this vulnerability. In situations where they aim to divert your attention from a specific problem, they can manipulate you into taking actions you wouldn't typically consider.
Never sacrifice your goals for anyone. Some may say that life is short and you shouldn't waste it chasing what they deem as 'nonsense' goals. They might argue that health isn't a big deal because everyone will eventually pass away, and that money is just a piece of paper that comes and goes. However, once you lose your health and wealth, there may be no one there to support you.
You can’t travel back and change something in your life the way you want. But if you really want to, you can shape your future the way you desire. Have you ever thought, 'If I had known what I know now 10 years ago, I would have made better decisions to avoid some unintended consequences?' For example, I wasn’t aware of Bitcoin in 2010. If I had been, I might have made millions. But why wasn’t I aware? It was because I wasn’t reading as much as I do now and wasn’t talking to as many people as I am now. So, here’s the fact: rather than worrying about the past, if I increase the number of books I read tenfold, talk to ten times more people, and travel to ten times more places, I could learn in one year what might otherwise take ten years. This way, I can make better decisions.
The pursuit of knowledge can make you happier than the actual knowledge itself. I used to think that possessing all the knowledge in the world or achieving societal norms would make you happy. Now, I've realized that neither having all the knowledge nor achieving something will make you happy, but it's the process of trying to achieve or learn with your full potential that brings happiness..
The person who doesn’t earn will not have the capability to maintain it. Neither winning the lottery nor receiving charity makes a person better. If you want to help others, teach them how to fish, don't just give them fish. When you give something for free the first time, it begins with appreciation, grows into anticipation, morphs into expectation, turns into entitlement, descends into dependence, and finally, when you stop giving for some reason, it culminates in resentment.
Be a gentleman in a gentle world. But if you find yourself in a jungle of wild animals, be prepared to become a monster. It's better to be a hunter than to be prey.
Some people will judge you for changing, while others will celebrate your growth. Choose your circle wisely.
The industrial era created a conducive environment for governments to treat their citizens as assets rather than customers. Imagine closing a multi-million-dollar deal in a phone call, and then, just because you closed that big deal, your phone network company charges you hundreds of thousands of dollars as a network fee. Would you agree to that? No way, right? But we all accept it when the government collects more taxes as we work hard and make more money. In fact, many advocate for governments to collect more from those who earn more than them and then redistribute the wealth to everyone. However, the information era will compel many governments to treat their citizens as customers, collecting money only for the services provided, to avoid imminent collapse. POSITION YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY.
Men are not born to pursue happiness. Pursue your purpose, and happiness will follow you.
Regretting your past mistakes puts you in a vicious cycle of regression. Accept who you are, learn from your mistakes, and move on. For example, if I were given a chance to erase all my past mistakes or a particular mistake, would I prefer to do that? NO. Because I am who I am because of my past mistakes. My mistakes have made me stronger and more intelligent. If I were to erase them, I might also lose all the good things that happened because of my mistakes.
Everyone is loyal and has integrity as long as they can afford it. It is your responsibility to control the incentives that might lead others to act against you. Never put anyone in a situation where they have nothing to lose by betraying you but something to gain by acting against you.
Wealth can be built in a few years, but reputation, character, and moral values take many more years, even generations, to develop. Even growing a tree takes longer than building wealth. Therefore, think twice before you cut down the trees planted by your parents. Just imagine: would you throw away $1000, a few pieces of paper signed by some politicians, in the garbage? No, right? Now think again. $1000 can be earned in a few hours to a few months, depending on your skill, but no one can make a tree grow in just a few months. So, tell me, which has more value?
Consider advice only from people who have already achieved what you want to achieve. We live in an era where broke people give financial advice, the fat and obese give health advice, and porn stars give marriage advice. If they couldn’t achieve what you want to achieve, why the heck would you listen to their advice on how to get what you want? Having said that, you would learn a lot more from a person one step ahead in your success route than from Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos.
In the end, you're a bundle of neurons telling itself a story. HAVE FUN. Stress about what matters. Let go of what doesn't. Enjoy every part of the game. Because you only get to play once.
As we wrap up this journey of reflection and learning, I hope these 23 lessons from 2023 resonate with you and inspire you to embrace the year ahead with optimism and resilience. Remember, each year is not just a passage of time, but a repository of experiences that shape us. Let's carry these insights forward, using them as guiding lights in our continuous journey of growth and self-improvement. May 2024 be a year where we not only dream of greatness but also take concrete steps towards realizing it. Here's to a year of embracing challenges, celebrating progress, and cherishing the journey of life. Happy New Year!